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What Germans Find Odd about America

6/10/2016

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Last Week, in honor of German-American Day, I wrote a short humorous list of things Americans find unusual about Germany. Today, I'm switching it around.

  1. Americans say “excuse me” every time they pass by in the book store and block your view of the shelf for a mere split second.
  2. Nothing costs what it says – there’s always a tip or tax to be added.
  3. They drink everything on ice – even milk.
  4. All denominations of paper money are the same color and size. How are the blind supposed to tell a single from a hundred?
  5. When suffering the occasional but normal melancholy they say “I’m so depressed!”
  6. Every aesthetic good gets sacrificed on the altar of convenience. Strip malls, anyone?
  7. Strawberry flavored Frappucino decaf is what they call Italian lifestyle.
  8. They order a Double Whopper and extra-large fries – and for their beverage, a large Diet Coke.
  9. As soon as they get home they turn the TV on like a lamp.
  10. They have even more faith in technology than Germans.

These are selections from a batch of 50, translated, sometimes paraphrased and embellished, by yours truly. For those who read German, the original is in Die Zeit.
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